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| Love one another, don't fight each other. |
One of many definitions of love is: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others. If you are in a relationship with someone that you love, you make it your business to show your significant other how much you love them by giving of yourself unconditionally. With that said.....the first time he/she yelled at you by their demeaning words or got into a physical altercation out of anger, isn't demonstrating love. The offender always....apologizes by saying "I'm sorry, but I love you" or "It won't happen again, I was just angry", and then it keeps happening so many times that you lost count, how is that love? It is true that we all from time to time have disagreements and we say things that we don't mean but it doesn't give us the right to habitually scream and fight the one we attest to love so....much. We have to be careful not to allow our disagreements with our significant other to escalate to what is known as mental and physical abuse.
I have seen too....many friends and acquaintances in abusive relationships that they construed as love. They never leave their abuser because that's all that they've known or accept the abuse because of the fear of being alone. Ladies and gentlemen if you aren't able to work-out your serious issues by first admitting that there is a problem and then seek help through counseling and your efforts fail, it isn't worth your life or well-being to continue in the relationship. If you reason that" I stay in an abusive relationship because of my children", there are questions you are going to have to answer in order to come to a rational decision on whether to stay or go. For instance, are my children immune to the unhealthy environment? How are they going to be protected from the adverse affects of the abusive relationship?
Tip: If you or someone you know is unsure on whether you are in a loving or abusive relationship seek counseling from your school, employer (health care provider) or local social services crisis help lines for support.
I literally just had a 'love shouldn’t hurt' conversation with a friend of mine. Her boyfriend is a complete $#@. He degrades her all the time around any and every one. He emotionally abuses her all the time. I haven’t seen physical abuse yet. She is a real sensitive person and cries every time he starts in on her. So I decided to ask her why. Why do you stay, and why do you think he loves you. She responded with some crap about don’t they say love hurts. Ah No. I don’t care what anyone says, if someone who says they love you or you love them hurts you...its not love. Look it up in the dictionary, look at pictures. None show love as a form of abuse. It portrays love as a balance between good stuff and bad stuff. Yes it’s not always easy, but if it hurts enough to make you feel bad physically or emotionally, it’s not the real thing. That’s my opinion. Needless to say, she doesn’t care what I say, but I’ll be there for her anyway. I can’t make her leave him but I just hope she will.
ReplyDeleteThere aren't many people out there like you who has spoken-up and challenged your friends thinking out of concern for her well-being. So, koodos to you!! I know you can't force her to leave him, but don't give-up talking to her even though she doesn't want listen when the opportunities present themselves. But, at the same time don't allow yourself to get too stressed-out emotionally over her because you did your part thus far to try to help her. I think that physical abuse is bad but emotional abuse is far worse. It sounds like your friend had already had self-esteem issue prior to even getting into a relationship with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend knows that, that's why he continues to prey on her verbally, because she allows him to get away with it. She is never going to see that her relationship is unhealthy until she starts loving herself and recognizing her worth isn't determined by a man.
ReplyDeleteI agree and I hate to say this and I hate when people say this but I guess I have to wait until so had enough. Sitting around and waiting and praying nothing really bad happens is so tough.
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